Cubicle War is Hell

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Online deal-finding site dealnews has been running a Cubicle Warfare feature, mixing pointers to cheap office warfare devices (like $2 Potato Guns) with a hilarious blow-by-blow narrative. Here's a bit from the second installment, published yesterday fresh from the battlefield:

The necktied hordes from Personnel spill from the elevators. You call for the front line to unleash a barrage of smoke from their Zero Fog Blasters ($18 at The dense circles of smoke and fog obscure the attacking co-worker's vision. You can smell the sweet cherry scent of the smoke — yes, the fog is scented like cherries — and smile, knowing that Personnel is accustomed to your floor smelling more like sweat, old electronics, and JOLT Cola. This additional layer of confusion will give you an all-too-precious split-second pause in their advances.

Smitty, your second-in-command, lobs a Sonic Grenade ($13 at into the oncoming attackers. The noise deafens the advancing combatants. Unfortunately, the screeching device has also deafened your own people.

Cubicle war is hell.

Read more: Cubicle Warfare and Cubicle Warfare II: This Time, It's Personnel.

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December 4, 2007 - 8:07am
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