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The LOLCat Bible Translation Project

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We've covered LOLCats before (including Miss C.'s hit LOLCat of Death post), but now things have gotten a little out of hand. The phenomenon of LOLCat Grammar has now matured enough to support a translation of the Bible into LOLCat language. Seriously. Check it out: LOLCat Bible Translation Project.

The site is just getting started, but there's already plenty of material on there. And if you're into LOLCats (or Biblical translation), you can create an account and help with the translation! Note that the site expects readers to be familiar with popular LOLCat idioms like Ceiling Cat (warning -- slightly mature content), who stands in for God in most of the translations. Here are some examples of early work from the the LOLCat Bible Translation Project:

Genesis 1

  1. Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat waz invisible, & he maded the skiez & da earths, but he no eated it.
  2. The earths wus witout shapez & wus dark & scary & stufs, & he rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
  3. & Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? & lite wuz.
  4. & Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stufs, & seperatered the lite form dark & stufs but taht wuz ok cuz cats can seez in teh dark & not tripz ovr nethin.

First Epistle to the Corinthians

  1. Ceiling Cat sez, "Paul, you be Jesus bro, cuz i like datz."
  2. Hai to youz who iz in ur Corinth, likin ur Ceiling Cat, and to evri wonz else who sayz Jesus is da man.
  3. cheezburgrz for all of youz
  4. i alwayz thx Ceiling Cat for you.
  5. Ceiling Cat givz you all you needz.
  6. because you liek Jesus.
  7. u haz all teh cheezburgz u needz while u waitz for Jesus to come down from teh ceiling.
  8. Ceiling cat will givez you cheezeburgrz, so you no eated cookiez.
  9. Ceiling Cat never forgetz! O yeah An he sez "plz hang with mah boy Jesus kthnx"
  10. evribodi get along plz?
  11. bcz Chloe telled on u! u r OMG fightin!

Ruth 1

  1. In teh dayz of judges, no foodz. Man from Bethlehem (dat in Judah) is has wife 'n too sonz and leave for Moab.
  2. Man is Elimelech. Wife iz Naomi. Sonz names don't matter, they dies soon anways lolz. They livez in Moab now.
  3. Elimelech dies, Naomi is widowe. Still gots two sunz.
  4. Sons has gots wives now, Orpah n' Ruth. Family livs in Moab for tene yers and
  5. Sunz dies lolz. Naomi now widowe with no sunz.
  6. She hears that Ceiling Cat help his pepples by givin thems cakes n' pies n' cheezebrgrs kthx. Naomi is gets doghters n' goes bak to Israel.
  7. Thems all leave home on the roadz to teh Judahs.
  8. Naomi sez "Kthx, but yuz go home to yur momz. May teh Ceiling Cat give all of you happy 'n stuff as yous have shown yours dead n' me.
  9. "May Ceiling Cat givez you will finds sleeps n' more mens 'n stuffs, kthxbye." She kised thems and all cried lolz.

Go forth and read the rest, if you dare.

Two Unknown Paintings by Raphael Discovered on the Vatican's Walls

The Vatican Museums are home to numerous famous art treasures, created by masters like Caravaggio, Leonardo da Vinci, and Michelangelo. Now, artnet News reports, the galleries can add two previously unattributed paintings by Italian Renaissance painter Raphael to their list.

Inside the Palace of the Vatican is a suite of four frescoed rooms called Raphael's Rooms. During the early 16th century, they served as Pope Julius II's apartments. The Pope commissioned Raphael and his pupils to paint the rooms, and they adorned each one with a different theme.

Three of the rooms contain paintings by the master himself. But experts didn't think that the fourth—and largest—chamber, called the Room of Constantine, bore Raphael's personal handiwork.

The Room of Constantine depicts four significant moments in the life of Emperor Constantine I, who's credited with converting the Roman Empire to Christianity. Experts had always believed that Raphael had sketched plans for the frescoes, and his pupils finished them after Raphael's sudden death on April 6, 1520. But new restoration efforts prompted experts to take a closer look, and they noticed that two allegorical figures in the frescoes appear to have been painted by Raphael.

One fresco depicts the Vision of the Cross, the moment Emperor Constantine claimed to have seen an image of a holy cross in the sky before a decisive battle. At the edge of the large-scale painting floats a woman who represents Friendship, Smithsonian reports. A second scene, which depicts the battle between Constantine and his pagan brother-in-law Maxentius, shows the figure of Justice. Experts now say that Raphael painted both images.

Italian newspaper La Stampa was the first to break the news, which they reportedly received from a YouTube video released by the Vatican’s press office.

"By analyzing the painting, we realized that it is certainly by the great master Raphael," said restorer Fabio Piacentini, according to a translation provided by artnet News. "He painted in oil on the wall, which is a really special technique. The cleaning and removal of centuries of previous restorations revealed the typical pictorial features of the master."

"We know from 16th-century sources that Raphael painted two figures in this room as tests in the oil technique before he died," added art historian Arnold Nesselrath, who serves as the Vatican Museums' technical and scientific research head. "According to the sources, these two oil painted figures are of a much higher quality than the ones around them."

"Raphael was a great adventurer in painting and was always trying something different," Nesselrath continued. "When he understood how something worked, he sought a fresh challenge. And so, when he arrived in the largest room of the papal apartment, he decided to paint this room in oil, but he managed to paint only two figures, and his students continued in the traditional method, leaving only these two figures as autographs of the master."

[h/t artnet News]

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