The mystical relationship between bells and the NFL

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NAMED FOR: Sir Benjamin Hall, the commissioner who played diplomat between the architect and clockmaker; some believe it was named after Ben Claunt, noted boxer

WHERE IT RESIDES: The Clock Tower, Palace of Westminster

CORRESPONDING NFL FIGURE: Ben Roethlisberger, you know, Big Ben


  • In Mars Attacks!, Big Ben was bobliterated by Martians; post-Superbowl XL, Ben Roethlisberger was perhaps not dissimilarly maligned in the imaginations of the Seattle Seahawks
  • In June of 2006, Big Ben's "Quarter Bells" were down for four weeks; In June of the 2006, Ben Roethlisberger was in a serious motorcycle wreck, suffering--among other injuries (he rode sans helmet)--a broken jaw and nose; but he was back in action for preseason games.

THE BELL: The Liberty Bell

NAMED FOR: Liberty wrought from the Revolutionary War (though it was originally referred to as the Independence Bell, the State House Bell, the Province Bell, or Ol' Yankee's Bell)


WHERE IT RESIDES: Liberty Bell Center, Market & 6th, Philadelphia

CORRESPONDING NFL FIGURES: Philadelphia Eagles RB Brian Westbrook & former NFL-er Tevita Ofahengaue


    The Liberty Bell has cracked twice, though there's controversy over exactly when; Brian Westbrook suffered a cracked rib in 2004

    In April of 2001, Mitchell Guilliatt struck the bell four times, shouting "God Lives!"; he got nine months in jail & had to pay $7,093 in damages; In April of 2001,Tevita Ofahengaue was the last (246th) pick in the NFL draft, becoming that year's "Mr. Irrelevant"


THE BELL: The Great Bell of Dhammazedi, fabled to be one of the most massive bells ever constructed

NAMED FOR: Dhammazedi, the 9th Mon King of Myanmar; while being transported by Portuguese looters in 1608, it sank to the bottom of the Dawpone River


WHERE IT RESIDES: Lodged deep in the mud off Monkey Point; there have been plans to recover it, but as of now it remains buried.

CORRESPONDING NFL FIGURE: Mike Ditka, coached amazingly with the Bears (even though he was eventually fired) and perhaps was lodged in Monkey Point with the Saints. Any other intersections up for grabs.

October 9, 2007 - 8:10pm
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