Terrible band names: real or fake?

Lord knows there are a ton of terrible band names out there. In fact, I'm guilty of playing lead guitar (er, "playing") in a few guilty parties myself (to wit: "Dinner with Hern Berford" in high school and "Subtext Becomes Text" in college). But we certainly weren't the worst; in fact, I would go so far as to say that band names generated at random could not be worse than the monikers bands pin on themselves willingly. (We also used the metal band name generator when coming to this studied conclusion -- a lot of fun.) Can you tell the difference between randomly generated band names and real ones? Prove it!

1. Regretful Pumpkin
2. Down with Naked
3. Battle of the Saxes
4. Boiled Sawyer
5. Cloak-and-Dagger Chuckhole
6. Sh-sh-sh-shark Attack!
7. Green Milk from Planet Orange
8. Mood Syrup
9. ... and Flesh
10. The Internet

Answers after the jump! And while we're at it, feel free to share the worst-named bands from your town.

1. Regretful Pumpkin FAKE
2. Down with Naked REAL
3. Battle of the Saxes REAL
4. Boiled Sawyer FAKE
5. Cloak-and-Dagger Chuckhole FAKE
6. Sh-sh-sh-shark Attack! REAL
7. Green Milk from Planet Orange REAL
8. Mood Syrup REAL
9. ... and Flesh FAKE
10. The Internet REAL

We'd also like to give a shout-out to the following Onion AV Club nominees for "Worst-Named band of 2006":

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
Corpse Vomit
Sorry About Your Couch
Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
America's Meth Problem II

How Do You Stress the Word: THANKSgiving or ThanksGIVing?

Here’s something else to stress about for Thanksgiving: where to put the stress in the word Thanksgiving.

If you’re from California, Iowa, or Delaware, you probably say ThanksGIVing, with the primary stress on the second syllable. If you’re from Georgia, Tennessee, or the Texas Panhandle, you probably say THANKSgiving, with the primary stress on the first syllable.

This north-south divide on syllable stress is found for other words like umbrella, guitar, insurance, and pecan. However, those words are borrowed from other languages (Italian, Spanish, French). Sometimes, in the borrowing process, competing stress patterns settle into regional differences. Just as some borrowed words get first syllable stress in the South and second syllable stress in the North, French words like garage and ballet get first syllable stress in the UK and second syllable stress in the U.S.

Thanksgiving, however, is an English word through and through. And if it behaved like a normal English word, it would have stress on the first syllable. Consider other words with the same noun-gerund structure just like it: SEAfaring, BAbysitting, HANDwriting, BULLfighting, BIRDwatching, HOMEcoming, ALMSgiving. The stress is always up front, on the noun. Why, in Thanksgiving alone, would stress shift to the GIVE?

The shift to the ThanksGIVing pronunciation is a bit of a mystery. Linguist John McWhorter has suggested that the loss of the stress on thanks has to do with a change in our concept of the holiday, that we “don’t truly think about Thanksgiving as being about thankfulness anymore.” This kind of thing can happen when a word takes on a new, more abstract sense. When we use outgoing for mail that is literally going out, we are likely to stress the OUT. When we use it as a description of someone’s personality ("She's so outgoing!"), the stress might show up on the GO. Stress can shift with meaning.

But the stress shift might not be solely connected to the entrenchment of our turkey-eating rituals. The thanksGIVing stress pattern seems to have pre-dated the institution of the American holiday, according to an analysis of the meter of English poems by Mark Liberman at Language Log. ThanksGIVing has been around at least since the 17th century. However you say it, there is precedent to back you up. And room enough to focus on both the thanks and the giving.

TAKWest, Youtube
Watch Boris Karloff's 1966 Coffee Commercial
TAKWest, Youtube
TAKWest, Youtube

Horror legend Boris Karloff is famous for playing mummies, mad scientists, and of course, Frankenstein’s creation. In 1930, Karloff cemented the modern image of the monster—with its rectangular forehead, bolted neck, and enormous boots (allegedly weighing in at 11 pounds each)—in the minds of audiences.

But the horror icon, who was born 130 years ago today, also had a sense of humor. The actor appeared in numerous comedies, and even famously played a Boris Karloff look-alike (who’s offended when he’s mistaken for Karloff) in the original Broadway production of Arsenic and Old Lace

In the ’60s, Karloff also put his comedic chops to work in a commercial for Butter-Nut Coffee. The strange commercial, set in a spooky mansion, plays out like a movie scene, in which Karloff and the viewer are co-stars. Subtitles on the bottom of the screen feed the viewer lines, and Karloff responds accordingly. 

Watch the commercial below to see the British star selling coffee—and read your lines aloud to feel like you’re “acting” alongside Karloff. 

[h/t: Retroist]


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