Because product-liability lawsuits are ever on the rise in the U.S. -- as well as the awards given those litigious plaintiffs by juries, which averaged $1.8 million in 2005 -- so too do the warning labels on our products grow more absurd. (Remember the iPod Shuffle's "Do Not Eat" warning? The company still hasn't admitted it was a joke.) Courtesy Forbes, here are some of the most laughable:
1. "Keep pet birds out of the kitchen when using this product."
Product: Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans
2. "Warning: This costume does not enable flight or super strength."
Product: Frankel's Costume Superman costumes
3. "Do not iron clothes on body."
Product: Rowenta's irons
Warning: more after the jump!
4. "Do not use for personal hygiene."
Product: Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush
5. "This product moves when used."
Product: Razor scooter
6. "Ask a doctor before use if you have difficulty urinating due to an enlarged prostate."
Product: Midol Menstrual Complete
7. "Do Not Eat."
Product: Apple's iPod shuffle
(I can't help but remember the SNL fake commercial for the "Nerf Crotchbat." It's themesong was "Crotchbat, crotchbat / Nerf plus crotch equals lots of fun!" and ended with narrator Phil Hartman intoning, "Nerf Crotchbat ... not for use with crotch.")
What are some of the silliest warnings you've seen?