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Laughable warning labels

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Because product-liability lawsuits are ever on the rise in the U.S. -- as well as the awards given those litigious plaintiffs by juries, which averaged $1.8 million in 2005 -- so too do the warning labels on our products grow more absurd. (Remember the iPod Shuffle's "Do Not Eat" warning? The company still hasn't admitted it was a joke.) Courtesy Forbes, here are some of the most laughable:

1. "Keep pet birds out of the kitchen when using this product."
Product: Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans

2. "Warning: This costume does not enable flight or super strength."
Product: Frankel's Costume Superman costumes

3. "Do not iron clothes on body."
Product: Rowenta's irons

Warning: more after the jump!

4. "Do not use for personal hygiene."
Product: Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush

5. "This product moves when used."
Product: Razor scooter

6. "Ask a doctor before use if you have difficulty urinating due to an enlarged prostate."
Product: Midol Menstrual Complete

7. "Do Not Eat."
Product: Apple's iPod shuffle

(I can't help but remember the SNL fake commercial for the "Nerf Crotchbat." It's themesong was "Crotchbat, crotchbat / Nerf plus crotch equals lots of fun!" and ended with narrator Phil Hartman intoning, "Nerf Crotchbat ... not for use with crotch.")

What are some of the silliest warnings you've seen?

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Big Questions
What's the Difference Between Vanilla and French Vanilla Ice Cream?
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While you’re browsing the ice cream aisle, you may find yourself wondering, “What’s so French about French vanilla?” The name may sound a little fancier than just plain ol’ “vanilla,” but it has nothing to do with the origin of the vanilla itself. (Vanilla is a tropical plant that grows near the equator.)

The difference comes down to eggs, as The Kitchn explains. You may have already noticed that French vanilla ice cream tends to have a slightly yellow coloring, while plain vanilla ice cream is more white. That’s because the base of French vanilla ice cream has egg yolks added to it.

The eggs give French vanilla ice cream both a smoother consistency and that subtle yellow color. The taste is a little richer and a little more complex than a regular vanilla, which is made with just milk and cream and is sometimes called “Philadelphia-style vanilla” ice cream.

In an interview with NPR’s All Things Considered in 2010—when Baskin-Robbins decided to eliminate French Vanilla from its ice cream lineup—ice cream industry consultant Bruce Tharp noted that French vanilla ice cream may date back to at least colonial times, when Thomas Jefferson and George Washington both used ice cream recipes that included egg yolks.

Jefferson likely acquired his taste for ice cream during the time he spent in France, and served it to his White House guests several times. His family’s ice cream recipe—which calls for six egg yolks per quart of cream—seems to have originated with his French butler.

But everyone already knew to trust the French with their dairy products, right?

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Belly Flop Physics 101: The Science Behind the Sting
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Belly flops are the least-dignified—yet most painful—way of making a serious splash at the pool. Rarely do they result in serious physical injury, but if you’re wondering why an elegant swan dive feels better for your body than falling stomach-first into the water, you can learn the laws of physics that turn your soft torso a tender pink by watching the SciShow’s video below.


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