I won't try to pretend otherwise: this post is partly intended to tip you off to one of the funniest dudes on the web, but mostly it's a way for me to publicly kiss up and grovel. (See how I already kissed up? "One of the funniest dudes on the web." That's The Art of War in action, baby.) Anyway, the dude's name is Merlin Mann, and driven desperate, as most of us are, by etiquette-less public cell phone users, he created a character called "That Phone Guy." (I've pasted some clips below, but for the full baloney go here). Pretty hilarious stuff—guy talks at uncouth decibels about inane things on street corners and in airplane terminals, except he's not talking into a phone, but a wallet.

Here's the thing: enterprising YouTube Hunter I am, I tried to interview Mr. Mann for the column. But Mr. Mann, turns out, doesn't do interviews for That Phone Guy. Instead, you can ask him one question, and if he likes it and has the time, he will respond, as That Phone Guy, in a 30-second video. So, panda bears, watch the videos below, and then write in with a question you'd like That Phone Guy to answer. I'll pick the best one and send it on to him. Hopefully he'll knock a video out, and I'll post it. It'll be ours. If that happens, I might even be able to send you some Mental Floss schwag. But probably not, since I haven't asked anybody at HQ about it.

And Mr. Mann, if you're reading, let me take this opportunity to tell you how very handsome you are and that you are my better in most things.