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The 5 Strangest Stories in Vice and Sports

No one's saying that drinking, smoking or drugs does an athlete any good, but it sure makes explaining their antics a whole lot easier...

Bill "Spaceman" Lee
Pitcher Bill Lee earned his nickname the Spaceman not because of his lefty environmental politics, or his endorsement of yoga, but for his rampant drug use. Apparently, he regularly sprinkled pot on his pre-game organic pancakes for good luck. Of course, the drugs made him do some strange things. Supposedly during one game, Lee was so out of it that he called the ump to the mound, and asked him, "Can you do anything about those trees over in center field?"
Among the many things Lee's done since retiring, one of them was running for president in 1988. He campaigned with the slogan "No guns. No butter. Both can kill," but failed to appear on the ballot in any state.

DockEllis.jpgDock Ellis in the Sky with Diamonds
Supposedly, pitcher Dock Ellis never played a major league game sober. On May 1, 1974, for instance, Ellis attempted to hit every batter in the Cincinnati Reds' lineup. In the first inning alone, he pelted Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, and Dan Dreisen. Tony Perez dodged four pitches and walked, but after Johnny Bench was nearly beaned twice, Ellis was removed from the game. By far, Ellis' oddest accomplishment though was on June 12, 1970, when (per his autobiography) he became the only major league player ever to pitch a complete game no-hitter while tripping on acid.

trickle_600px.jpgDick Trickle and Cigarettes
The man with the funniest name in racing was infamous for drilling holes into his safety helmet so he didn't have to stop for cigarette breaks while racing. Instead he simply smoked through his altered headgear. Dick's also famous for having cigarette lighters installed into all of his cars, so he never had to ask his pit crew for a light.

Barret Robbins and his less than Super Bowl
In one of the most infamous pre-game blunders of all time, the former All-Pro center stunned his team (and thrilled bookies) when he went AWOL two days before Super Bowl XXXVII. Apparently, the quest for cheaper alcohol led the depressed Raider all the way to Tijuana, where a sloppy night landed him in a Mexican hospital.

01285_2137.jpgLawrence Taylor, Crack and Hookers
According to Taylor, the football All-Star was turned onto cocaine as a NFL rookie, and within three years he was nose deep in crack. "I'd go through an ounce a day. And at times I'd be standing in the huddle. And instead of thinking what defense we were playing I'd be thinking about smoking crack after the game." Of course, LT countered the effect of drugs with a special tactic: sending hookers with special instructions to wear out his opponents the night before a game. Said Taylor, "Every time they [opposing players] sit there and tell you, "˜Oh, we gotta get some sleep,' that's when the party really starts."

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Bowman Gum - Heritage Auctions, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons
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11 Timeless Yogi Berra Quotes
Bowman Gum - Heritage Auctions, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons
Bowman Gum - Heritage Auctions, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons

The great Yogi Berra—a 10-time World Series champion and three-time MVP—was one of baseball's best catchers, but he's remembered just as much for his wit and wisdom as his Hall of Fame career. Here are some of the quotes attributed to Yogi (who was born on May 12, 1925), even if he didn't always say them first.

1. "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."

2. "The future ain't what it used to be." (Yogi later clarified, saying, "I just meant that times are different. Not necessarily better or worse, just different.")

3. "A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."

4. "It ain't over 'til it's over."

5. "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." (See Quote Investigator)

6. "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded." (See Quote Investigator)

7. "We have a good time together, even when we're not together."

8. "It's déjà vu all over again." (See Quote Investigator)

9. "Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical."

10. "I really didn't say everything I said."

11. "Then again, I might have said 'em, but you never know."

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Hate Running But Want to Feel Like a Winner? Try a 0.5K Run
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If you’re a non-runner who feels left out by the surging popularity of 5K and half-marathon races, Boerne, Texas has the race for you. Billed as a “running event for the rest of us,” the Boerne 0.5K is exactly what it sounds like: a very, very short race. The unique event, taking place in a town of 10,000 outside of San Antonio, covers just a little more than a third of a mile. And, as Mashable reports, it includes free beer and doughnuts.

The first annual charity event takes place on May 5, 2018 and is a fundraiser for Blessings in a Backpack, a Kentucky-based nonprofit that provides weekend meals to hungry children. Designed as a tongue-in-cheek response to typical 5K races, the extra-short run features a coffee and doughnut hydration station, just in case you get hungry midway through the race, and a free beer both before and after you run. “Join your fellow underachievers for a day (actually more like 10 minutes) of glory, celebration and participation trophies to raise money for a great organization,” the race website trumpets.

For a small fee, you can also get all of the trappings of racing without ever lacing up your shoes. For $50, VIPs can get the same swag the racers get, plus get the luxury of being shuttled the full 546 yards in a VW bus.

Understandably, this year’s roster is already full, but since the event’s organizers know that most people interested in the event aren’t necessarily committed to running, you can still get a T-shirt, participation medal, and bumper sticker for $25—no racing involved—here.

[h/t Mashable]

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