High School Sports Teams

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I attended college in Columbia, Missouri, where the local high school named their athletic teams the Hickman Kewpies. Someone told me the football team debuted during the era when kewpie dolls were all the rage, and a parent declared loudly that they were as cute as kewpies at their opening game. I don't know how true the story is, but you have to admit the name is memorable.
There are a bazillion school systems in the US, and most of them have athletic teams. In amongst the Tigers, Bears, and other ferocious animals are some pretty interesting team names.

MFbeeter guy1.jpgSome names will make you hungry. Who could resist the New Berlin Pretzels, the Frankfort Hot Dogs, the Moorehead Spuds, or the Chinook Sugar Beeters?

More fascinating team names, after the jump.

268_hobo_lrg.jpgA lot of teams are named after occupations, often something to do with a local industry. These include the Brush Beetdiggers, Hoopeston Area Cornjerkers, the Rocky Ford Meloneers, the Tonopah Fighting Muckers, the Cordozo Clerks (of Washington, DC of course), the Bauxite Miners, the Laurel Hill Hoboes, the John Marshall Justices in Richmond and the John Marshall Barristers in Los Angeles.
Vintage High School in Napa Valley named their team the Crushers. Yes, the Vintage Crushers.

MFblossom.gifThere's a few that make you wonder how the name is supposed to strike fear into the heart of the opposing team. Imagine firing up for a game against the Blooming Prairie Awesome Blossoms, the Fisher Bunnies, the St. Hubert Bambies, the Teutopolis Wooden Shoes, the Mt. Clemens Battling Bathers, the Roosevelt Teddies, or the Central Catholic Buttons. The above-cited Hickman Kewpies would belong in this category.

MFmaniac.jpgI found a few names that might be termed politically incorrect. There are Hurley Midgets, the Mcaughlin Midgets, and the Freeburg Midgets, which could be named after the British Leyland vehicle, but I doubt it. Idaho has the Orofino Maniacs. Centralia named their boys teams the Orphans and their girls teams the Orphan Annies.

Some are downright unlawful! There's the Yuma City Criminals, the Van Vandals, the Orono Riots, and the Rawlins County Outlaws. Watch out, or you may run into the Garfield G-Men and end up meeting the Powell County Wardens! Maybe you could use the help of the two John Marshall high schools.

MFwebbfoot.gifOther names are clever puns designed to match the school districts name. Who could argue with the Carlsbad Cavemen, the Normandy Invaders, the Polo Marcos, the Mars Area Fighting Planets and the Poca Dots. The Frankfort Hot Dogs fit here, too. Personally, I love the Webb Feet! The best pun of the lot is the Cairo Syrupmakers.

And some are headscratchers. I can't quite figure out the Fairbury Jeffs, the Shoals Jug Rox, the Maryville Spoofhounds, the Yuba City Honkers, the Danville Little Johns, the Chattanooga Central Purple Pounders, or the Watersmeet Nimrods.

MFnimrod.jpg
Those are but a small sampling of the colorful team names out there. Do you know of any others?

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February 22, 2007 - 3:15am
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