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Attention, Albert Broccoli: New Bond movie ideas!

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Now that we've seen "Casino Royale," we're getting psyched for the next Bond movie, which according to winner #1, Sheldon Siegel, will have a title in keeping with the rest of the Bond catalogue: "Golden Shower."

Where is James going? gay bath house
What's his best throwaway line? "Now THAT'S what I call shaken, not stirred."
Who is he after (villains and love interests)?
Villain: Blowfelt
Love Interest: Shees Hung

As for winner #2, who was supposed to take the idea (slightly) more seriously, we liked two proposals that had great possibilities for cameos. First, there was "Icebreaker," in which Bond saves the world from melting polar icecaps (suggested cameo: Al Gore). We also liked "In the Shadows of Tomorrow," which takes place in Uzbekistan and the apparently fictional country of Kyrgykistan (unsuggested but obvious cameo: Borat). But all told, we couldn't resist the proposal for "Beneath the Blue," which:

1. managed the unlikely feat of being a health PSA as well as a Bond movie

2. featured a character named "Castro Fidel"

3. included more dialogue than you'll find in the whole of "Casino Royale" -- all of which you'll find after the jump

4. Was written by someone with the fantastic Bond-girl name of "Jamieson Wolf." Congratulations, Jamieson!

Daniel Craig will repraise his role in the newest Bond flick:

BENEATH THE BLUE

When the film begins, Bond is on vacation in Maui, enjoying the sun, the women and the waves. After his latest mission, he is due for some R and R. But his vacation is about to be cut short.

Tanning under the hot rays of the Maui sun, Bond sees a familiar person approaching him. She is wearing a wide brimmed hat and glasses that hide her eyes, but Bond knows it is M.

"Enjoying the sun, Bond?"

"Yes, I always enjoy skin cancer. What can I do for you, M?"

The woman stiffens. "Don't call me that out loud." She lowers herself to the blanket beside him. "How did you know it was me?"

"No one else I know walks like you do."

"And what way is that?"

"Like you have a rod shoved up your butt."

She laughs softly, but there is no humour in it. "You must be wondering why I've come to see you on your time off."

"Not really." Bond sits up, puts his sun glasses on to block the sun. "You always inturrpt at the most inconvienient times. I'm used to it by now."

"This is a matter of great urgencey." M. looks grief stricken. "This is really a personal matter"¦"

"If you want to get personal, the least you could do is let me kiss you first." Bond smiles. "No tongue, I promise."

M. goes on to relate that her husband Frederick Tanner, a PHD who has found the cure for cancer, has been taken from their home by a hospice group that hopes to ransom off the cure for millions of dollars.

The group, led by Castro Fidel, is the most terrifying man next to Hitler.

"I didn't know you were married." Bond says.

"We don't know anything about each other, aside from the fact that we can kill if we have to. That's what makes our job so exciting."

"It's a shame the turn over rate is so high." Bond sighs. "They're not making agents like they used to."

M. takes his hand. "That's why I need you, Bond. Will you find my husband for me?"

"You realize if I go after Castro Fidel, I may very likely die."

"Is death a small price to pay to grant a favour?" M. asks.

Bond kisses her hand, softly. "Not for you, M. Not for you"¦"

Bond looks up; a leggy brunette is watching their conversation, following every word. "We are being watched"¦"

Will Bond prevail? Will he save Frederick Tanner? Who is the leggy brunette and will she fall for Bond like every other Bond Girl? Will the cure for cancer itself be relased to the world?

Watch BENEATH THE BLUE to find out!

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FRED TANNEAU/AFP/Getty Images
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Animals
Fisherman Catches Rare Blue Lobster, Donates It to Science
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FRED TANNEAU/AFP/Getty Images

Live lobsters caught off the New England coast are typically brown, olive-green, or gray—which is why one New Hampshire fisherman was stunned when he snagged a blue one in mid-July.

As The Independent reports, Greg Ward, from Rye, New Hampshire, discovered the unusual lobster while examining his catch near the New Hampshire-Maine border. Ward initially thought the pale crustacean was an albino lobster, which some experts estimate to be a one-in-100-million discovery. However, a closer inspection revealed that the lobster's hard shell was blue and cream.

"This one was not all the way white and not all the way blue," Ward told The Portsmouth Herald. "I've never seen anything like it."

While not as rare as an albino lobster, blue lobsters are still a famously elusive catch: It's said that the odds of their occurrence are an estimated one in two million, although nobody knows the exact numbers.

Instead of eating the blue lobster, Ward decided to donate it to the Seacoast Science Center in Rye. There, it will be studied and displayed in a lobster tank with other unusually colored critters, including a second blue lobster, a bright orange lobster, and a calico-spotted lobster.

[h/t The Telegraph]

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Courtesy Murdoch University
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Animals
Australian Scientists Discover First New Species of Sunfish in 125 Years
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Courtesy Murdoch University

Scientists have pinpointed a whole new species of the largest bony fish in the world, the massive sunfish, as we learned from Smithsonian magazine. It's the first new species of sunfish proposed in more than 125 years.

As the researchers report in the Zoological Journal of the Linnean Society, the genetic differences between the newly named hoodwinker sunfish (Mola tecta) and its other sunfish brethren was confirmed by data on 27 different samples of the species collected over the course of three years. Since sunfish are so massive—the biggest can weigh as much as 5000 pounds—they pose a challenge to preserve and store, even for museums with large research collections. Lead author Marianne Nyegaard of Murdoch University in Australia traveled thousands of miles to find and collected genetic data on sunfish stranded on beaches. At one point, she was asked if she would be bringing her own crane to collect one.

Nyegaard also went back through scientific literature dating back to the 1500s, sorting through descriptions of sea monsters and mermen to see if any of the documentation sounded like observations of the hoodwinker. "We retraced the steps of early naturalists and taxonomists to understand how such a large fish could have evaded discovery all this time," she said in a press statement. "Overall, we felt science had been repeatedly tricked by this cheeky species, which is why we named it the 'hoodwinker.'"

Japanese researchers first detected genetic differences between previously known sunfish and a new, unknown species 10 years ago, and this confirms the existence of a whole different type from species like the Mola mola or Mola ramsayi.

Mola tecta looks a little different from other sunfish, with a more slender body. As it grows, it doesn't develop the protruding snout or bumps that other sunfish exhibit. Similarly to the others, though, it can reach a length of 8 feet or more. 

Based on the stomach contents of some of the specimens studied, the hoodwinker likely feeds on salps, a jellyfish-like creature that it probably chomps on (yes, sunfish have teeth) during deep dives. The species has been found near New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, and southern Chile.

[h/t Smithsonian]

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