Bond (James Bond) Week: What to Eat

Here's the first in our four installments teaching you what to eat, what to drink, how to look, and how to travel if you want to be James Bond -- or, at least, if you wanted in 1965 to be James Bond, according to The Book thereof. (By the way, the author, who we asked you about yesterday, is none other than Kingsley Amis!) First, some meaty excerpts from the chapter on food:

In general: "Show no knowledge whatever of how food is actually prepared. You have never cooked a meal in your life. What you eat is provided either by the Scottish treasure who housekeeps for you, or by a girl, or by a restaurant."

Everyday dining: "Stick to, or say you stick to, grilled soles, escalope of veal, steaks and French fries, and cold roast beef with potato salad. Warning: Unless you get through tremendous quantities of potatoes in this way (eight pounds daily is the lowest limit of safety), vitamin-C deficiency will render you liable to falling hair and other un007-worthy troubles. So pack in plenty of those green salads on the side." [Editor's note: Did Mr. Amis just recommend the Atkins Diet?]

Eschew: tea. "Attack [it] as a 'flat, soft, time-wasting opium of the masses,' associated with misdemeanours like scone-eating, owning a Morris Minor and having children called Ethel or Ron. Another cheap way of asserting your individuality."

And above all: "Avoid exotic dishes such as cat or raw boa-constrictor."

Tomorrow, we'll tell you all about Bond's favorite beverage -- and no, it's not a martini, shaken or stirred.