CLOSE

Greg Veis, YouTube Hunter: Election Day Edition

Some people call it Election Day; I call it Christmas. Network news anchors nattering on with hardly anything substantive to report for hours, until they spin into the Realm of the Truly Weird around 1 a.m.; endless refreshes on Talking Points Memo, Drudge, and Mystery Pollster; breathless phone calls to anyone who shares my excitement about the likely outcome of Arizona's Eighth District -- yeah, I'll say it: better than sex.

Why? Because Election Day, like coitus, is all about the build-up, and Midterms '06 have been marked with a red circle on many a political junkie's calendar since November 2, 2004. We -- the few, the moderately proud, the socially awkward -- have been pouring over poll data for months, and before there were polls, or even challengers, we were acting as if each event in the news cycle brimmed with the significance of the cosmos.

And have no doubt: YouTube has been instrumental in feeding this obsession. Advertisements and gaffes, speeches and slurs... they have found an immediate and permanent home on the website -- and the political process has been permanently changed for it. (Whether that's a good thing or not is an open question I might address in the future, but, for now, this is a place to start.) So, now, let's recap the midterm that was by scanning through the video clips that had the most impact on this, our first YouTube election.

Strangest Channeling of a Movie Character for Electoral Gain
Easy: David Strathairn, as Edward R. Murrow, in support of House challenger Kristen Gillibrand.

I don't find the ad to be effective -- a little too put-on for my taste -- but this other ad for Gillibrand's campaign (although not by her campaign) is a classic, mocking her opponent's appearance at a recent Union College frat party. (Awesome photographic evidence of that, too. Check out the guy ripping a jay-bird in the top right):

Most Emotionally Fraught Issue
Embryonic stem cell research. Of course, this issue brought us Michael J. Fox's advertisements, which were the most visually arresting of the cycle. No amount of FX wizardry could match the gut-punch of watching him writhe uncontrollably while expressing his support for certain Democratic candidates. One last time, here he is supporting Ben Cardin in Maryland (and note how he explicitly references George W. Bush, something he wasn't able to do for Claire McCaskill in the redder state of Missouri):

This, however, is a very effective counterpunch from the campaign of Cardin's opponent, Michael Steele, who might just pull off an upset victory today. Keep an eye out...

The last ad I'll show that hits on stem cell research is different in that it employs actors spelling out hypothetical situations -- but it's no less powerful.

Most Incendiary Advertisement
Yep, the race-baiting ad the RNC ran against Harold Ford in Tennessee, which reminded some people of the GOP's infamous "Southern Strategy:"

In fairness, though, Ford cut an ad of his own that was so blatant in its religiousness (it's in a church, for chrissakes!) that, had a Republican aired it, all of Cambridge, Mass., would've put down their lattes as one and posted nasty, hateful things on their blogs:

Most Thematically Disjointed Campaign Promise
That would have to go to Cruz Bustamante, running for Insurance Commissioner of California. Let's get this straight, Cruz: because you ran in a marathon and lost weight, you're going to lower insurance rates. Riiiight...

Pol Whose Reputation Was Most Irrevocably Damaged By YouTube
George Allen, senator and former governor of Virginia, and, until recently, a leading contender for the 2008 Republican nomination for president. Until recently, you say? Yeah, largely due to YouTube, Mr. Macacawitz is a joke. Here's how our favorite $1.6 billion website took down a political heavyweight: in May, Ryan Lizza with The New Republic wrote a piece examining Allen's predilection for most things Dixie, despite a childhood spent on the tony edge of the west coast. Then, this happened...

... and then people came out of the woodwork saying that he used to drop the N-word into casual conversation, and then he said in a televised debate that asking if his mother was Jewish was tantamount to "making aspersions," and now, it looks as if he might lose to Jim Webb today. And even if he does manage to hang on, his future has dimmed significantly. The lesson to future campaigns? As this article persuasively argues: don't let YouTube clips reinforce previously held negative beliefs about a candidate. Easier said than done... especially when your pol is as skilled of a gaffe machine as Senator Allen.

Pol Whose Star Has Risen Almost Exclusively Because of YouTube's Influence
YouTube doesn't discriminate based on factual certainty or moral clarity; it's a place where those who speak in the highest volumes reach more eyeballs than they could've ever hoped to before. Which brings us to North Carolina Republican House challenger Vernon Robinson. He's been mentioned in this column before, and whew doggie, is he a nut. But before YouTube, he would've been a nut confined to the North Carolina 12th; now, he's raked in a pretty penny from outside his district and has become something of a cult hero because of hyperbolic and factually dubious ads like this:

Yet YouTube has its own internal fact-checking mechanisms as well, and this one, spearheaded most improbably by Sean Hannity, is a joy to watch:

Most Enjoyable Campaign Ad (Intellectual Dishonesty Category)
In this ad attacking House candidate Michael Arcuri, the National Republican Congressional Committee suggests that, well, just watch...

Hot, right? A little strange for the GOP to be showing something so racy given their frequent suggestions that smut like this is hurting our "American values?" Sure, but I like silhouetted naked chicks as much the next guy. Problem is, the phone call in question was a single misdial (by a single number) that cost New York taxpayers -- wait for it -- a buck and a quarter.

Strangest Apologies
No shortage here, this being the year of Mark Foley and the "botched joke" -- but these two, from Reps. Thomas Reynolds and Don Sherwood, were particularly striking. Reynolds was accused of sitting on the Foley emails for too long, hoping that they wouldn't put a safe seat in play. Oh, and Sherwood reportedly strangled his mistress during a back massage. This is his apology. Do these come close to being effective? What say you?

Best Ad
Screw real politicians. I'm voting for Jimmy Jones:

Original image
iStock
arrow
Live Smarter
Need to Calm Yourself Down? Try This Military-Approved Breathing Technique
Original image
iStock

Whether you’re dealing with co-worker chaos or pressure to perform on a project, it’s difficult to excel at work when you're extremely stressed. Can’t escape the office? Take a cue from real-life soldiers and try a technique called tactical breathing—also known as combat breathing, four-count breathing, and diaphragmatic breathing—to lower your heart rate and regain control of your breath.

“It’s one you can use when things are blowing up around you”—both literally and figuratively—“and you need to be able to stay calm,” explains clinical psychologist Belisa Vranich, who demonstrates a version of tactical breathing in Tech Insider’s video below.

Vranich is the author of 2016’s Breathe: The Simple, Revolutionary 14-Day Program to Improve your Mental and Physical Health. Watch, learn, and—of course—inhale and exhale along with her until you feel zen enough to salvage the remainder of your workday.

[h/t Business Insider]

Original image
GraveDiggerCandles
arrow
Lists
10 Creepy Candles to Get You in the Halloween Mood
Original image
GraveDiggerCandles

Candles are always a handy household accessory, but they're especially useful around Halloween, when they can be used to light jack-o'-lanterns, summon spirits, or simply brighten a long, dark night. These spooky lights are more suited for tabletops than pumpkins, or soirees than seances, but they'll still make your upcoming costume shindig extra festive (and fragrant, to boot).

1. KISA CANDLE

PyroPet’s cat-shaped Kisa candle looks like an ordinary wax feline. But as it melts, a hidden surprise reveals itself: a macabre metallic skeleton with charred bones and bared fangs.

The Kisa candle costs $34 and comes in three colors: pink, gray, and an ultra-spooky black. Not into cats? Additional PyroPet offerings include birds, bunnies, reindeer, owls, and dragons, all with the same silver framework.

2. BRAIN CANDLE

Brain candle by Creepy Candles
Creepy Candles

This specimen-inspired candle by Etsy seller Creepy Candles would look equally at place in a mad scientist’s laboratory as it would at a Halloween soiree. A wax brain is suspended in green-tinted gel that resembles formaldehyde, but the candle itself thankfully smells like grapefruit. The Brain Candle costs $25 and is handmade to order.

3. HUMAN SPINE CANDLES

Beeswax human spine candles, set of three, by Grave Digger Candles
Grave Digger Candles

Grow a spine this Halloween—or at least buy one. These notched beeswax pillar candles are inspired by the Victorian Era, a period in which physicians created detailed wax models of flayed corpses to teach medical students the literal ins and outs of anatomy. Etsy seller Grave Digger Candles sells them in sets of three for $76.

4. OUIJA BOARD CANDLE

LED battery-operated Ouija board candle by Twisted Nightmares
Twisted Nightmares

This Ouija board-inspired, LED battery-operated candle probably won’t summon spirits, but it’s still spine-tinglingly spooky. Sold by Etsy user Twisted Nightmares, it costs $20 and requires three AAA batteries, which aren’t included with purchase.

5. BLEEDING HEART CANDLE

Bleeding Heart Candle by Cozy Custom Candles
Cozy Custom Candles

Love guts, blood, and Gothic romance? Your heart might bleed for this candle, which turns into a gushing heart when lit. Sold by Etsy seller Cozy Custom Candles, the heart-shaped light source has a white outer shell made from a high-melt point paraffin wax, while its core is made of a red-colored wax blend with a low melting point. The candle hemorrhages vital fluids as it burns, making it the perfect accessory for a bloody good time.

The Bleeding Heart Candle costs $17 and comes in multiple autumnal scents, including caramel apple, pumpkin pie, and sweet cinnamon-pumpkin.

6. PICK YOUR POISON CANDLES

Pick Your Poison candle by Mr. Toad's House of Wax
Mr. Toad's House of Wax

The “Pick Your Poison” candles by Etsy seller Mr. Toad’s House of Wax appear to have been snatched from the shelf of a Victorian apothecarist. But while labeled “Poison Hemlock Oil” and “Tincture of Wolfsbane Poison,” they smell like fresh fallen leaves, pumpkin spice, and other autumnal scents when lit. Both candles cost $21, and are embellished with a sparkly jewel and black velvet ribbon.

7. CREEPY WOODS & GRAVEYARD DIRT CANDLE

Woods & Earth candle by Geeky Girl Scents
Geeky Girl Scents

There’s nothing quite like the aroma of trees and fresh graveyard dirt on a fall night. With hints of wood and earth, this candle by Etsy seller Geek Girl Scents will make your living room smell like a haunted cemetery. An eight-ounce jar costs $15, and a 16-ounce version is also available.

8. WITCH FARTS CANDLE

Witch Farts Scented Soy Wax Candle by The Candle Crate
The Candle Crate

If you’ve ever wondered what witch gas smells like (who hasn’t?), you can find out by purchasing The Candle Crate’s flaming ode to supernatural flatulence. The Etsy seller’s “Witch Farts” candle is more Glinda the Good Witch than Elphaba, with top notes of peach, apricot, and blackberries and middle notes of mandarin, cinnamon, and rose.

The soy wax candle costs $12, and is sold alongside other witchy, Harry Potter-inspired products like “Number 12 Grimmauld Place” and “The Leaky Cauldron.”

9. GHOST REPELLENT CANDLE

Ghost Repellent candle by Nola And Neighbors
Nola And Neighbors

Even if you ain’t afraid of no ghosts, you can still keep them at bay with this “Ghost Repellent” candle by Etsy sellers Nola And Neighbors. It smells like lavender and sage, and comes with an instruction label informing owners to light it “at dusk or dawn” for best results—although the ghost’s removal is “not guaranteed.” At $17, it’s still way cheaper than hiring the Ghostbusters.

10. ZOMBIE GOLDEN GIRLS PRAYER CANDLE SET

Zombie Golden Girls prayer candle set by The Eternal Flame
The Eternal Flame

Golden Girls devotees who’d follow the Fab Four to the grave and beyond can light up their lanais with these zombie prayer candles by Etsy shop The Eternal Flame. They come in sets of four (one for each Girl, naturally) and cost $40. Color choices include white, orange, and purple.

SECTIONS

arrow
LIVE SMARTER
More from mental floss studios