Since we're running an election for a People's Tribune (two-and-a-half more days to go! Hurry up and get your campaigns rolling!), we thought we'd get into the spirit of things and provide some ready-made political promises for our candidates. Under their reigns, you will:
Notice an improvement in the look of your hair.
While away your free time on the ocean.
Have a 6.2 handicap.
Have all the money in the world.
Engage in "exciting live talk."
Speak the universal language.
See you Monday, when the campaigning begins in earnest...