Celebrity drunkards

Here in the states, we like our flags stripey, our pies appley and our celebrities blotto. In fact, just as some of our tabloid royalty seem to be famous mostly for being famous (a certain heiress comes to mind), others are famous mostly for being drunk. Here are some of our favorite tipplers -- American and otherwise -- and what they have to say for themselves.

    "¢ Motion picture icon W.C. Fields. He said, "I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake... which I also keep handy."

  • American author F. Scott Fitzgerald loved the bottle, but during one of his drying-out periods, he had a conversation with his friend, humorist Robert Benchley: "Listen, Bob," Fitzgerald said. "Don't you know drinking is slow death?" Whereupon Benchley took a sip, smiled, and said, "So who's in a hurry?"
  • Legendary poet, author and leader of the famed Algonquin Round Table Dorothy Parker once famously spat this bit of slam poetry: "I like to have a Martini / Two at the very most / After three I'm under the table / After four I'm under my host."
  • Borrowing from Parker, quarry-voiced singer Tom Waits quipped "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." But Waits has plenty of his own material when it comes to knocking one back: In "Bad Liver and a Broken Heart," he sings "I don't have a drinking problem -- "˜cept when I can't get a drink."
  • On the day he died, Welsh poet Dylan Thomas said "I've had 18 straight whiskies. I think that's the record."
  • Southern lit heavyweight William Faulkner said "The tools I need for my work are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whiskey."
  • After a lifetime of hard drinking, Winston "we shall never surrender" Churchill concluded that he had "taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
  • Former prime minister of Australia Bob Hawke has suggested that he owes much of his political success to his status as a world record holder for fast consumption of beer: he can put drain two and a half pints in eleven seconds. (I have to wonder, if "Fosters" is really "Australian for beer," then does "prime minister" also mean something other than what I think it does? Like, "fast beer drinker?")

Tomorrow: hangover remedies.

The Real Bay of Pigs: Big Major Cay in the Bahamas

When most people visit the Bahamas, they’re thinking about a vacation filled with sun, sand, and swimming—not swine. But you can get all four of those things if you visit Big Major Cay.

Big Major Cay, also now known as “Pig Island” for obvious reasons, is part of the Exuma Cays in the Bahamas. Exuma includes private islands owned by Johnny Depp, Tyler Perry, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, and David Copperfield. Despite all of the local star power, the real attraction seems to be the family of feral pigs that has established Big Major Cay as their own. It’s hard to say how many are there—some reports say it’s a family of eight, while others say the numbers are up to 40. However big the band of roaming pigs is, none of them are shy: Their chief means of survival seems to be to swim right up to boats and beg for food, which the charmed tourists are happy to provide (although there are guidelines about the best way of feeding the pigs).

No one knows exactly how the pigs got there, but there are plenty of theories. Among them: 1) A nearby resort purposely released them more than a decade ago, hoping to attract tourists. 2) Sailors dropped them off on the island, intending to dine on pork once they were able to dock for a longer of period of time. For one reason or another, the sailors never returned. 3) They’re descendants of domesticated pigs from a nearby island. When residents complained about the original domesticated pigs, their owners solved the problem by dropping them off at Big Major Cay, which was uninhabited. 4) The pigs survived a shipwreck. The ship’s passengers did not.

The purposeful tourist trap theory is probably the least likely—VICE reports that the James Bond movie Thunderball was shot on a neighboring island in the 1960s, and the swimming swine were there then.

Though multiple articles reference how “adorable” the pigs are, don’t be fooled. One captain warns, “They’ll eat anything and everything—including fingers.”

Here they are in action in a video from National Geographic:

Pop Culture
The House From The Money Pit Is For Sale

Looking for star-studded new digs? For a cool $5.9 million, reports, you can own the Long Island country home featured in the 1986 comedy The Money Pit—no renovations required.

For the uninitiated, the film features Tom Hanks and Shelley Long as hapless first-time homeowners who purchase a rundown mansion for cheap. The savings they score end up being paltry compared to the debt they incur while trying to fix up the house.

The Money Pit featured exterior shots of "Northway," an eight-bedroom estate located in the village of Lattingtown in Nassau County, New York. Luckily for potential buyers, its insides are far nicer than the fictional ones portrayed in the movie, thanks in part to extensive renovations performed by the property’s current owners.

Amenities include a giant master suite with a French-style dressing room, eight fireplaces, a "wine wall," and a heated outdoor saltwater pool. Check out some photos below, or view the entire listing here.

The real-life Long Island home featured in “The Money Pit”

The real-life Long Island home featured in “The Money Pit”

The real-life Long Island home featured in “The Money Pit”

The real-life Long Island home featured in “The Money Pit”

The real-life Long Island home featured in “The Money Pit”

The real-life Long Island home featured in 1986's “The Money Pit”

The real-life Long Island home featured in 1986's “The Money Pit”



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