Spam poetry

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Sometimes, random is beautiful. Just ask John Cage, the experimental American composer famous for using coin tosses to decide notes while writing music; or beat poets William Burroughs and Byron Gysin, who chopped up other texts and rearranged them to make new poems; or glam-rock maestro David Bowie, who used the same technique to "write" the lyrics to his song "Moonage Daydream."

Given humans' propensity to find beauty in chance and intuit meaning from randomness (which in cinema is called the Kuleshov Effect), it shouldn't be too surprising that the next frontier of language art is only a few mouse-clicks away: your email in-box. In an attempt to retain her sanity while deleting 400+ daily email come-ons from porn sites, weight loss drug-makers and Nairobi businessmen eager to send her money, blogger Kristin Thomas takes revenge on the spammers by stealing their words and spinning them into poetry.

Anyone seen any inadvertently poetic (or hilarious) spam subject lines or message bodies recently? If so, send 'em in and later this week we'll post the best o' the best -- or the worst o' the worst! Meanwhile, here are some gems from Thomas' canon:

Number 1
Quality ink up to 80% off.
Answers Now on the Distortion of Evidence;
Clean your colon.
Improve sense of well being.

Uncover what other's don't want you to know -
Check it out, man -
Success, guaranteed!

What is an MBA really worth?
Ask yourself - could your penis be bigger?
For Target guests,
Its safe, now.

I Used To Have A Pogo Stick Too!

To a man,
contained by lust
a pretty girl is always waiting,
never ending
always satisfied
pretty as a porn star
slutty as a co-ed
smarter than most small cap investors
Dreaming of a better day.

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September 25, 2006 - 10:08am
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