Maybe you've heard, but this week's contest is a bigger deal than usual: Over at Worth 1000, we're looking for a Photoshop artiste to design our upcoming magazine cover on "The Future." The winner gets 500 bucks and, if he's up to it, the satisfaction of seeing his design on newsstands all over the country. In that spirit, I thought I'd offer up our week in review magazine-cover style -- with the kind of sensationalist headlines that only a checkout-counter denizen could love.
GANGSTA SEX SECRET: GIVE UP YOUR GUNS!
PRESIDENT BUSH WHACKED!
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SEX SECRET: USE YOUR "SAFETY WAND!"
IT'S THEIR PREROGATIVE: WHITNEY AND BOBBY SPLIT!
SCANDAL! INTERNET SITE IS A LIE!
SHOCKING! AIR TRAVEL CAN BE UNPLEASANT!
IS THAT A VIBRATOR IN YOUR POCKET, OR ...?
WOMAN WINS LOTTERY -- TWICE!
BABY LOVE! FAMOUS PEOPLE GIVE BIRTH!
MEDIA MADNESS! USA TODAY LIES TO AMERICA!
Whew. Okay, time to use the inside voice. Enjoy your WILD AND WACKY WEEKENDS! We'll see you Monday.