Pop annotations: "Show Stopper" by Danity Kane

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While most of us sneak peeks at the footnotes while trying to decipher baffling classics like Finnegan's Wake, we seem to do fine without expertly-annotated copies of In Style. Truth is, we don't know what we're missing. To remedy that, there's Pop Annotations, our weekly column exposing profundities lurking below the surface of today's hit songs. This week we tackle newly-minted supergroup Danity Kane's new single, "Show Stopper."

We in the car, we ride slow
We doin' things that the girls don't do1
The boys stare, we smile back
All my girls in the rainbow Cadillacs, yeah!2

1. In a subculture where the ample-booty'd are treated like fleshy fashion accessories, could this be hip-hop's long-awaited rallying cry to feminism; Danity Kane nothing less than a pop-lockin' quintet of fly Betty Friedans?
2. Despite the connotations here, DK are apparently not lesbians.

Showstoppin' at the latest spot3
The ride shinin' with the open top
Hydraulics make our heads go nod
Hair blowin' in the breeze
Yo, we superstars!4

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3. The band's latest spot, according to Billboard, was #1 on the album charts -- not bad for a group Frankensteined into existence by rap impresario Sean "Puffy "˜P. Diddy'" Combs, who discovered them on his reality show Making the Band. DK was assembled from the reanimated corpses of Salt "˜n' Pepa, En Vogue and Destiny's Child. Professors of Victorian literature predict it's only a matter of time before the girls turn on their creator and eat Diddy.
4. "Yo" is the name of a deity worshipped by the Bambara tribe of Mali, who believe the universe began and will end with the sound "yo!" "Superstar" refers to the prevailing cosmological paradigm explaining the origin of the universe, in which a tremendously dense and hot supermass (or "superstar") existed for a brief time, 13.7 billion years ago, before it expanded into what we today refer to as "everything." Therefore, the Big Bang sounded something like this.

Put in the keys, make that engine purr
Three in the back, one in the passenger
Slow-creepin' cause we look that fly
All the boys tryn'a taste our candy ride5

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5. Champion racehorse Candy Ride would indeed be difficult for the boys to taste, not only because he is exceedingly fast "“ running a mile in just 1:31.01 "“ but thanks also to American taboos re: the consumption of horseflesh. Such taboos, however, don't exist in Japan, where the boys might sample some Candy Ride-flavored ice cream (gag -- pictured).

[Chorus]
Bet you ain't never seen (hey!)
Chicks ridin this clean (hey!)
Louis Vuitton seats (oh, oh, oh!)6
We do it deadly7
That's how we keep it poppin' (hey!)
Make sure the bass knockin' (hey!)
So when you see us ridin' (oh, oh, oh!)
We call it Show Stoppin'

6. French luggage-maker Louis Vuitton, who would be 185 this year if he hadn't died in the 19th century, can lay claim to having founded the world's first designer label. As a device originally meant to combat counterfeiting, the Vuitton monogram has been a colossal failure: these days, just over 1% of "Vuitton"-branded items are not counterfeit.
7. Diddy knows deadly: in 1991, a judge ruled him 50% responsible for the deaths of nine people at a concert he promoted, at which he had blocked all exits with heavy tables so that fans without tickets wouldn't be able to sneak inside. But as the third law of Peediddydynamics states, "if the ticketless can't get in, the ticketed can't get out" "“ a stampede did the rest.

We sittin' on 22s plus 28
Mink bucket seats, neon blue9
Color-coordinate with them shoes
Yeah, we divas but we ride like big boys do

8. That is, 24-inch wheel rims. ("We sittin' on 48s divided by the cube root of 16s" just didn't have the same ring to it.)
9. Didn't they just say the seats were Vuitton leather?

Black-tinted with a white stripe interstate
Lookin' in the mirror at my Bad Boy fitted, yup10
Show stoppin' till they lose they breath
Turn the wheel to the right
Turn the wheel to the left

10. "Bad Boy" being Diddy's record label, Bad Boy Records; "fitted" being a hat. Diddy, remember, is also a fashion designer, and so understands the hidden relationship between hats and record albums: when people buy either of them, Diddy gets paid.

This is for my ladies in the 280 Mercedes
In the H3, Baby Ranges, Bentley Coupes, Escalades
Break 'em off somethin' proppa like a real show stoppa11
This is for chicas with the Beemers, A6's
"˜67 Chevy, Maserati, or a Lexus

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11. According to the Dictionary of Fringe English, to break off means "to freely or gratuitously give something (to someone), especially money or something highly prized; in the form break (someone) off a piece, to give or receive sexual favors." While breakin' someone off a piece in the latter sense would undoubtedly be a show-stoppa "“ especially while riding clean in, say, a Baby Range "“ I don't think this is something that hip-hop's most outspoken feminists meant to imply. Therefore, they must be giving away cars like Oprah; hook a blogga up, ladiez!

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September 8, 2006 - 4:32am
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