Another Reason Bush Could Use to Justify the Iraq War...

Winslow
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 With all the official reasons having been pretty well ruled out by now, here's a new one: WE WENT IN TO TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO CELEBRATE GOOD NEWS PROPERLY. Because, really, the Iraqi people gotta stop shooting guns in the air when something goes right. I'm as happy as the next dude that we don't have Abu Musab al-Zarqawi practicing an obscene version of Islam and calling for American heads anymore, but the shooting at the sky bit's gotta stop. Iraqi people, if you're reading, you know those things come down right? At, like, 200 ft per second. That's supa-fast. It's a felony in most places that actually have functioning and non-dismantled police forces. So ten years on, when things have hopefully tidied up a bit, maybe you'll have learned to celebrate like your occupiers/freedom-givers: by downing eight Miller Lites, pissing on your neighbor's lawn, and beating the junk out of your dog.

PS--In all fairness, some Americans shoot guns in the air in the name of bonhomie.

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June 8, 2006 - 11:06am
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