Because I'm sick of wearing "Floaties" at the beach
I firmly believe God doesn't want me to swim. At least not in any way in which my hair gets wet. I mean, I can doggie-paddle my way around the deep end of a pool like a pro. And the truth is, I was the star student in the Polliwog and Guppy classes I took at the Y when I was a kid, and no one can take that away from me. But tragically, that's where my swimming career peaked. Every summer after that was spent in the remedial section of the Minnow classes until I was 11, when the frustrated YMCA staff and my parents came to a joint decision that life vests would serve me just fine. And despite the fact that Will's Mamaw insists she's going to teach me how to swim every time I bump into her, I just don't see it in the cards. But that's exactly why I'm so darn excited about the German engineered Seabob! It does exactly what the Segway did for people who struggle with walking.
Like a motorized kick-board, Bob (as he's known to his friends) can speed riders along the water's surface at 12 miles per hour. And it can even dive under the water with ease. In fact, an experienced diver can tweak the controls to get cruise waters as 130 feet deep for a better view of the ocean. I can't wait to take it to the Y this summer, and dominate everyone in Marco Polo. There's nothing quite like the feeling of getting your dignity back.