What if Money Were No Object?

While this question may seem trite, it is truly valuable if we actually consider it: what would you like to do every day, if money were no object? What do you value and enjoy, absent issues of money? In this short video, philosopher and writer Alan Watts is quoted, matched with inspirational footage. This is worth watching and listening to. My favorite part (emphasis added):

When we finally got down to something, which the individual says he really wants to do, I will say to him, you do that and forget the money, because, if you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend your life completely wasting your time. You’ll be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living, that is to go on doing things you don’t like doing, which is stupid. Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way.

I write about this in an upcoming book about how I managed to become a professional freelance writer -- something that doesn't seem like a sustainable career path to many people. A central realization, which Watts alludes to here, is that many of us are living our own worst-case scenarios. If you were to take a leap of faith and do the thing you love (in my case, writing), and you were to fail dramatically at it and not not have any money, what is the worst that would happen then? You'd probably go back to having a day job, at least for a while. So why would you remain at that day job now, proactively living out your own worst-case scenario? Take a listen:

There's a transcript of this video if you're curious.

What Would You Like to Do?

Tell us in the comments. What do you want to do, and why are/aren't you doing it?

There’s an Upside to Being Sad and Lonely: A Talent for Reading People

Do you have a more somber, isolated take on life? Here's a reason to cheer up: According to a new study published in the journal Social Psychology, you may be more insightful about human nature. Anton Gollwitzer and John Bargh, Yale psychologists and the co-authors of the study, report that introverted people prone to melancholy are better at inferring how others react in social situations than their more extroverted peers.

For the study, the researchers asked more than 1000 volunteers about how the average person thinks, feels, and acts in various social contexts. The survey, which is publicly available on Yale's website, includes questions like "People are usually overly confident in the accuracy of their judgments: true or false?" and "Do people feel more responsible for their behavior when surround by other people doing the same action?" (The answers are, generally speaking, true and no.)

Following the questionnaire, the authors conducted a series of psychological tests on the highest-scoring individuals to see which traits they had in common. Respondents who made accurate judgments about social psychology were more likely to be intelligent and curious about complex problems. What was less expected was those same subjects also reported being more lonely and introverted, and having lower self-esteem.

"It could be that the melancholic, introverted people are spending more time observing human nature than those who are busy interacting with others, or they are more accurate at introspection because they have fewer motivational biases," Gollwitzer said in a press release. "They don't view the world through rose-colored glasses as jovial and extroverted people do."

Despite their innate strengths, the authors emphasize that introverts without formal training still don't have the knowledge necessary to compete with professional psychologists. So if you think psychology may be your calling, you won't be able to substitute your personality type for a degree.

This Just In
Yes, Parents Do Play Favorites—And Often Love Their Youngest Kid Best

If you have brothers or sisters, there was probably a point in your youth when you spent significant time bickering over—or at least privately obsessing over—whom Mom and Dad loved best. Was it the oldest sibling? The baby of the family? The seemingly forgotten middle kid?

As much as we'd like to believe that parents love all of their children equally, some parents do, apparently, love their youngest best, according to The Independent. A recent survey from the parenting website Mumsnet and its sister site, the grandparent-focused Gransnet, found that favoritism affects both parents and grandparents.

Out of 1185 parents and 1111 grandparents, 23 percent of parents and 42 percent of grandparents admitted to have a favorite out of their children or grandchildren. For parents, that tended to be the youngest—56 percent of those parents with a favorite said they preferred the baby of the family. Almost 40 percent of the grandparents with a favorite, meanwhile, preferred the oldest. Despite these numbers, half of the respondents thought having a favorite among their children and grandchildren is "awful," and the majority think it's damaging for that child's siblings.

Now, this isn't to say that youngest children experience blatant favoritism across all families. This wasn't a scientific study, and with only a few thousand users, the number of people with favorites is actually not as high as it might seem—23 percent is only around 272 parents, for instance. But other studies with a bit more scientific rigor have indicated that parents do usually have favorites among their children. In one study, 70 percent of fathers and 74 percent of mothers admitted to showing favoritism in their parenting. "Parents need to know that favoritism is normal," psychologist Ellen Weber Libby, who specializes in family dynamics, told The Wall Street Journal in 2017.

But youngest kids don't always feel the most loved. A 2005 study found that oldest children tended to feel like the preferred ones, and youngest children felt like their parents were biased toward their older siblings. Another study released in 2017 found that when youngest kids did feel like there was preferential treatment in their family, their relationships with their parents were more greatly affected than their older siblings, either for better (if they sensed they were the favorite) or for worse (if they sensed their siblings were). Feeling like the favorite or the lesser sibling didn't tend to affect older siblings' relationships with their parents.

However, the author of that study, Brigham Young University professor Alex Jensen, noted in a press release at the time that whether or not favoritism affects children tends to depend on how that favoritism is shown. "When parents are more loving and they're more supportive and consistent with all of the kids, the favoritism tends to not matter as much," he said, advising that “you need to treat them fairly, but not equally.” Sadly for those who don't feel like the golden child, a different study in 2016 suggests that there's not much you can do about it—mothers, at least, rarely change which child they favor most, even over the course of a lifetime.

[h/t The Independent]


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