CLOSE
Original image

11 Bizarre Old Contraptions That Promised to Improve Your Looks

Original image

1. Nose Harness

"You have a beautiful face... But your nose?" If you were alive in the early 20th century and you didn't like your nose, the good news is that you didn't have to resort to expensive and painful rhinoplasty. The bad news is that your other option involved this painful-looking and unsightly Trados Nose-Shaper. Model 22 was pretty popular in 1918, if the number of ads is any indication, but "Face Specialist" M. Trilety didn't stop there. By 1928, Trilety was a "Pioneering Noseshaping Specialist" who offered quick, painless and permanent nose correction with Model 25:

Weird Universe / Amazon

2. Dimple Stamper

Modern Mechanix

Isabella Gilbert must have spent a significant portion of her life distressed over her lack of dimples, because in 1936 she invented this spring-loaded contraption that promised to "make a fine set" by pressing a pair of knobs into the cheeks. This seems like a commitment you would have to take seriously, since real dimples don't just show up for a night out on the town.

3. Giant Stationary Hairdryer

GuardianRetronaut

Short hair was all the rage in the Twenties, but even a bob needs a good blowout. The first portable handheld hairdryer was invented in 1920, but that didn't stop some intrepid soul from building this massive industrial-strength version sometime soon after. Given that it stands on six legs and appears to be rather heavy, we can probably assume that this model didn't grab much of the hairdryer market.

4. Dr. Lecter's Mask

Google patents

Anyone with "facial defects" in 1912 was fortunate to have Lillian Bender, who invented this super-comfy device which promised "removal of wrinkles and sagging flesh" by way of a fully adjustable rubber mask. Bender thoughtfully included an opening for the mouth, which was probably helpful since the elastic collar was tied corset-style around the throat.

5. Vibrators. Vibrators Everywhere.

Targeted vibration worked so well for hysteria that it was soon prescribed for curing everything from cellulite to cankles.

Vintage Ad Browser

In 1910, the White Cross Electric Vibrator was advertised as a combination hip slimmer, dandruff buster and cure for "back lameness."

Vintage Ad Browser

In the 1920s, its successor took the claims one step further and promised that the Venus-Adonis Electric Normalizer would do all that and improve "elimination."

Vintage Ad Browser

By 1950 the Electric Spot-Reducer offered a 10-day guarantee that the user would lose pounds and inches "without risking health," which is at least half true.

Superfan

Following soon after, a "multiple electric vibrator" for the scalp hit the market, promising to stimulate circulation in the "scalp and brain cells" in addition to removing dandruff and loose hair. The 480 vibrating pins were euphemistically called "artificial fingers," probably because they look sort of terrifying.

6. Electrified Masks

Modern Mechanix

Remember Linda Evans' Rejuvenique mask? This was its grandma. In 1933, Dr. Joseph Brueck introduced "an electric face moulding mask" that contained a "battery of heating coils" to warm the face and melt away wrinkles and lines. If that seems uncomfortable and claustrophobic, no worries: "While milady is being made beautiful, she breathes through a tube set between the lips of the mask, and views the world through eyes cut where eyes should be."

7. Self-Service Chin Straps

Vintage Ad Browser

Problematic double chin got you down? Cheer up: Ads for the Professor Mack's Chin Reducer and Beautifier from the 1890s say the device can eliminate and efface double chins, all while reducing "enlarged glands," assuming you pull the cords hard enough.

8. Asphyxia Hoods

Pressure Points

If your skin lacked that youthful glow sometime in the 1940s, the best available solution was to sit a spell under the Glamour Bonnet. The vacuum helmet reduced "atmospheric pressure around the beauty seeker's head," which inventor Mrs. D. M. Ackerman believed would help stimulate circulation and improve the complexion. And while a vacuum hose stole all of your oxygen, you could read through the handy plastic window.

9. Magnetic Binding

Collector's Weekly

You'd be hard-pressed to find someone who can tell you how magnets work, but one thing is for certain: they can cure just about anything. OK, it's not true, but no one mentioned that to Thomson, Langdon & Co., manufacturers of the Wilsonia Magnetic Corset, which advertised itself as both a remedy for indigestion, paralysis and nervousness and the key to a teensy tiny waist.

10. Miracle-Gro for Hair

History.com

Women weren't the only ones to benefit from high-tech beauty aids in the early 1900s. A slew of baldness-reversing devices flooded the market, all promising improved hair growth and slower hair loss. One such instrument was Merke Institutes' Thermocap, which was meant to stimulate dormant hair with heat and blue lights.

Live Auctioneers

Taking that approach one step further, the hair and scalp device shown here stimulated the scalp by sending an arc of sparks from the blown glass attachments to the head. Seems legit.

11. Pinpointed Flaw Detection

Wired

No collection of crazy-looking beauty contraptions would be complete without a nod to Maksymilian Faktorowicz, purveyor of fine cosmetics since he opened up shop as Max Factor in 1909. In addition to his excellent lipstick and eyeliners, Factor is also famous for developing the Beauty Micrometer in 1932, an instrument designed to detect a woman's facial flaws so they can be corrected with makeup "by an experienced operator" before filming. The ad describes it as looking like a baseball mask, but that's only because Hellraiser hadn't been filmed yet.

Original image
Michael Campanella/Getty Images
arrow
Lists
10 Memorable Neil deGrasse Tyson Quotes
Original image
Michael Campanella/Getty Images

Neil deGrasse Tyson is America's preeminent badass astrophysicist. He's a passionate advocate for science, NASA, and education. He's also well-known for a little incident involving Pluto. And the man holds nearly 20 honorary doctorates (in addition to his real one). In honor of his 59th birthday, here are 10 of our favorite Neil deGrasse Tyson quotes.

1. ON SCIENCE

"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it."
—From Real Time with Bill Maher.

2. ON NASA FUNDING

"As a fraction of your tax dollar today, what is the total cost of all spaceborne telescopes, planetary probes, the rovers on Mars, the International Space Station, the space shuttle, telescopes yet to orbit, and missions yet to fly?' Answer: one-half of one percent of each tax dollar. Half a penny. I’d prefer it were more: perhaps two cents on the dollar. Even during the storied Apollo era, peak NASA spending amounted to little more than four cents on the tax dollar." 
—From Space Chronicles

3. ON GOD AND HURRICANES

"Once upon a time, people identified the god Neptune as the source of storms at sea. Today we call these storms hurricanes ... The only people who still call hurricanes acts of God are the people who write insurance forms."
—From Death by Black Hole

4. ON THE BENEFITS OF TECHNOLOGY INVENTED FOR USE IN SPACE

"Countless women are alive today because of ideas stimulated by a design flaw in the Hubble Space Telescope." (Editor's note: technology used to repair the Hubble Space Telescope's optical problems led to improved technology for breast cancer detection.)
—From Space Chronicles

5. ON THE DEMOTION OF PLUTO FROM PLANET STATUS 

PBS

"I knew Pluto was popular among elementary schoolkids, but I had no idea they would mobilize into a 'Save Pluto' campaign. I now have a drawer full of hate letters from hundreds of elementary schoolchildren (with supportive cover letters from their science teachers) pleading with me to reverse my stance on Pluto. The file includes a photograph of the entire third grade of a school posing on their front steps and holding up a banner proclaiming, 'Dr. Tyson—Pluto is a Planet!'"
—From The Sky Is Not the Limit

6. ON JAMES CAMERON'S TITANIC

"In [Titanic], the stars above the ship bear no correspondence to any constellations in a real sky. Worse yet, while the heroine bobs ... we are treated to her view of this Hollywood sky—one where the stars on the right half of the scene trace the mirror image of the stars in the left half. How lazy can you get?"
—From Death by Black Hole

7. ON DEATH BY ASTEROID

"On Friday the 13th, April 2029, an asteroid large enough to fill the Rose Bowl as though it were an egg cup will fly so close to Earth that it will dip below the altitude of our communication satellites. We did not name this asteroid Bambi. Instead, we named it Apophis, after the Egyptian god of darkness and death."
—From Space Chronicles

8. ON THE MOTIVATIONS BEHIND AMERICA'S MOONSHOT

"[L]et us not fool ourselves into thinking we went to the Moon because we are pioneers, or discoverers, or adventurers. We went to the Moon because it was the militaristically expedient thing to do."
—From The Sky Is Not the Limit

9. ON INTELLIGENT LIFE (OR THE LACK THEREOF)

Perhaps we've never been visited by aliens because they have looked upon Earth and decided there's no sign of intelligent life.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/neildegras615117.html
Perhaps we've never been visited by aliens because they have looked upon Earth and decided there's no sign of intelligent life.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/neildegras615117.html

"Perhaps we've never been visited by aliens because they have looked upon Earth and decided there's no sign of intelligent life."

10. PRACTICAL ADVICE IN THE EVENT OF ALIEN CONTACT 

A still from Steven Spielberg's E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
Universal Studios
"[I]f an alien lands on your front lawn and extends an appendage as a gesture of greeting, before you get friendly, toss it an eightball. If the appendage explodes, then the alien was probably made of antimatter. If not, then you can proceed to take it to your leader."
—From Death by Black Hole
Original image
Getty Images
arrow
entertainment
40 Fun Facts About Sesame Street
Original image
Getty Images

Now in its 47th season, Sesame Street is one of television's most iconic programs—and it's not just for kids. We're big fans of the Street, and to prove it, here are some of our favorite Sesame facts from previous stories and our Amazing Fact Generator.

Sesame Workshop

1. Oscar the Grouch used to be orange. Jim Henson decided to make him green before season two.

2. How did Oscar explain the color change? He said he went on vacation to the very damp Swamp Mushy Muddy and turned green overnight.

3. During a 2004 episode, Cookie Monster said that before he started eating cookies, his name was Sid.

4. In 1980, C-3PO and R2-D2 visited Sesame Street. They played games, sang songs, and R2-D2 fell in love with a fire hydrant.

5. Mr. Snuffleupagus has a first name—Aloysius

6. Ralph Nader stopped by in 1988 and sang "a consumer advocate is a person in your neighborhood."

7. Caroll Spinney said he based Oscar's voice on a cab driver from the Bronx who brought him to the audition.

8. In 1970, Ernie reached #16 on the Billboard Hot 100 with the timeless hit "Rubber Duckie."

9. One of Count von Count's lady friends is Countess von Backwards, who's also obsessed with counting but likes to do it backwards.

10. Sesame Street made its Afghanistan debut in 2011 with Baghch-e-Simsim (Sesame Garden). Big Bird, Grover and Elmo are involved.

11. According to Muppet Wiki, Oscar the Grouch and Count von Count were minimized on Baghch-e-Simsim "due to cultural taboos against trash and vampirism."

12. Before Giancarlo Esposito was Breaking Bad's super intense Gus Fring, he played Big Bird's camp counselor Mickey in 1982.

13. Thankfully, those episodes are available on YouTube.

14. How big is Big Bird? 8'2". (Pictured with First Lady Pat Nixon.)

15. In 2002, the South African version (Takalani Sesame) added an HIV-positive Muppet named Kami.

16. Six Republicans on the House Commerce Committee wrote a letter to PBS president Pat Mitchell warning that Kami was not appropriate for American children, and reminded Mitchell that their committee controlled PBS' funding.

17. Sesame Street's resident game show host Guy Smiley was using a pseudonym. His real name was Bernie Liederkrantz.

18. Bert and Ernie have been getting questioned about their sexuality for years. Ernie himself, as performed by Steve Whitmere, has weighed in: “All that stuff about me and Bert? It’s not true. We’re both very happy, but we’re not gay,”

19. A few years later, Bert (as performed by Eric Jacobson) answered the same question by saying, “No, no. In fact, sometimes we are not even friends; he can be a pain in the neck.”

20. In the first season, both Superman and Batman appeared in short cartoons produced by Filmation. In one clip, Batman told Bert and Ernie to stop arguing and take turns choosing what’s on TV.

21. In another segment, Superman battled a giant chimp.

22. Telly was originally "Television Monster," a TV-obsessed Muppet whose eyes whirled around as he watched.

23. According to Sesame Workshop, Elmo is the only non-human to testify before Congress.

24. He lobbied for more funding for music education, so that "when Elmo goes to school, there will be the instruments to play."

25. In the early 1990s, soon after Jim Henson’s passing, a rumor circulated that Ernie would be killed off in order to teach children about death, as they'd done with Mr. Hooper.

26. According to Snopes, the rumor may have spread thanks to New Hampshire college student, Michael Tabor, who convinced his graduating class to wear “Save Ernie” beanies and sign a petition to persuade Sesame Workshop to let Ernie live.

27. By the time Tabor was corrected, the newspapers had already picked up the story.

28. Sesame Street’s Executive Producer Carol-Lynn Parente joined Sesame Workshop as a production assistant and has worked her way to the top.

29. Originally, Count von Count was more sinister. He could hypnotize and stun people.

30. According to Sesame Workshop, all Sesame Street's main Muppets have four fingers except Cookie Monster, who has five.

31. The episode with Mr. Hooper's funeral aired on Thanksgiving Day in 1983. That date was chosen because families were more likely to be together at that time, in case kids had questions or needed emotional support.

32. Mr. Hooper’s first name was Harold.

33. Big Bird sang "Bein' Green" at Jim Henson's memorial service.

34. As Chris Higgins put it, the performance was "devastating."

35. Oscar's Israeli counterpart is Moishe Oofnik, whose last name means “grouch” in Hebrew.

36. Nigeria's version of Cookie Monster eats yams. His catchphrase: "ME WANT YAM!"

37. Sesame's Roosevelt Franklin ran a school, where he spoke in scat and taught about Africa. Some parents hated him, so in 1975 he got the boot, only to inspire Gob Bluth’s racist puppet Franklin on Arrested Development 28 years later.

38. Our good friend and contributor Eddie Deezen was the voice of Donnie Dodo in the 1985 classic Follow That Bird.

39. Cookie Monster evolved from The Wheel-Stealer—a snack-pilfering puppet Jim Henson created to promote Wheels, Crowns and Flutes in the 1960s.

40. This puppet later was seen eating a computer in an IBM training film and on The Ed Sullivan Show.

Thanks to Stacy Conradt, Joe Hennes, Drew Toal, and Chris Higgins for their previous Sesame coverage!

An earlier version of this article appeared in 2012.

SECTIONS

arrow
LIVE SMARTER
More from mental floss studios