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12 Cat-Related Patents That Are Really Quite Bizarre

To visit Google's patent website is to lose yourself in a black hole of totally weird wannabe inventions—a surprising number of which are for your feline friends. From toys meant to encourage exercise to systems that deliver live birds for food, here are 12 really weird cat patents.

1. "Method of Exercising a Cat"

If you watch My Cat From Hell (and you obviously do), you know that host Jackson Galaxy’s first step in kitty exorcism is almost always increasing exercise—and America’s inventors are on it. Patents for all kinds of strange, exercise-inspired toy patents exist, including number 5443036, “Method of Exercising a Cat.” Kevin T. Amiss and Martin H. Abbott propose a ray or glue gun-looking device that beams a laser onto an opaque surface. Give it to the human, who must move the light “in an irregular way fascinating to cats, and to any other animal with a chase instinct.” (Nothing you can't do with a flashlight.)

2. "Cat Exercise Wheel"

Elmer Paul Venson and Leona June Wilson, on the other hand, take the hamster wheel one step further with patent number D484284, “Cat Exercise Wheel.” Sure, it will get out your cat's excess energy, but expect her to be insulted that you’re asking her to act like a rodent she wants to eat.

3. "Bird Predation Deterrent Shield"

Many cat-related patents aim to keep the creatures from eating birds—and no wonder, since felines take out an estimated 500 million songbirds every year. In patent number 5755186, “Bird predation deterrent shield for a cat,” Susan B. Mandeville suggests a flexible bib that hangs from the cat’s neck nearly down to its feet. According to the patent, “Use of a shield according to the present invention has been shown to drastically reduce the number of birds killed by a cat when worn by the cat while outdoors.” (We can only assume Susan tested this on her own very disgruntled kitty.)

4. “Collar for a Cat for Warning a Bird of the Presence of the Cat"

Similarly, in patent number 5952925, “Collar for a cat for warning a bird of the presence of the cat,” Gordon P. Secker suggests popping a collar equipped with speakers on felines to ruin their stalking skills and warn birds off.

5. "Bird Trap and Cat Feeder"

But Leo O. Voelker doesn’t want to save the birds—or sparrows, anyway. His grisly “Bird Trap and Cat Feeder” is “designed to catch birds the size of a sparrow while releasing smaller song birds, wrens, swallows, or the like. The feeder providing means for continuously supplying a cat or neighborhood cats with sparrows to eat.” The device delivers sparrows into a mesh cage; when the bird sticks its head through the mesh opening, the cat can grab it with its paw and pull it out—bon appétit!

6. "Device for Restraining a Cat"

Cats are fast, and can be easily distracted—hence the patents for restraints that will save your hands from scratches, bites, and potential cases of cat scratch fever. In patent 6394039, “Device for Restraining a Cat,” Shanon O. Grauer imagines the feline equivalent of a straitjacket: There’s a hole for the cat’s head, and one for its tail. It forces the kitty to sit pretty so its human can easily administer medication. “A dog tends to receive medications … without serious complaint,” the patent says. “A cat is, by its very nature, finicky and presents to its owner, a constant challenge to ensure that [it] has received its proper dosage.”

7. "Another Device for Restraining a Cat"

Meanwhile, Ruby Y. Young’s “Cat Restrainer” looks like a horror film-approved torture device. The patent describes it as “a combination of a harness and frame assembly to provide a cat bathing, treating, breeding, transporting, and surgical restraint.” Yikes.

8. “Furniture Device for Cats"

Cats only have their tongues to keep clean, so it’s nice that some inventors have created devices to help with kitty grooming. James Piccone’s “Furniture Device for Cats" is both a house and a fur-removal device: As cats enter and exit through holes in the structure, a “brushing or combing device” affixed to the holes creates an “automatic grooming operation … on the external hair or surface thereof to prevent the shedding of loose hairs on floors and other areas where such shedding is undesirable.”

9. “Device for Collecting Cat Hair”

Jack Randall Kidwell’s “Device for Collecting Cat Hair” is much more likely to strike terror into the hearts of felines – before cats reach their food, they must first journey through an area of suction, which removes “loose particles” and hair.

10. “Vibrating Cat Litter Scoop”

And then, of course, there are patents designed to help humans do their part (if they can’t teach their kitties to use the toilet). Anthony O’Rourke’s “Vibrating Cat Litter Scoop” helps separate cat litter from cat waste by battery-induced vibrations originating from the scoop’s handle. Just don’t accidentally pack this in your suitcase before you go on vacation! (People will wonder what's vibrating in there, and why you brought a litter scoop on your getaway.)

11. “Cat-Shaped Computer Mouse”

These last two proposed gizmos are clearly aimed at the cat lady segment of the population, who would no doubt quickly snatch up patent number D639299, “Cat-Shaped Computer Mouse”...

12. “Acrylic Night Light Cover in the Form of a Cat”

...and patent number D426910, “Acrylic Night Light Cover in the Form of a Cat”.

Erin McCarthy is Deputy Editor of mentalfloss.com.

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22 Emojis That Look Completely Different on Different Phones
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iStock

Emojis are a great addition to our communication toolbox. Without saying a word, we can talk about people, places, things, and emotions. But different platforms sometimes display the same emoji specification in different ways. An eye roll might come across as petulant or cheerful. A snake might look threatening or adorable. To help you navigate some potentially confusing cross-platform interactions, here are 22 emojis (referred to by their programming code names) that come out with important differences on Apple (iOS 11.1), Google (Android 8), and Samsung (Galaxy S8).

1. FACE WITH ROLLING EYES

3 different face with rolling eyes emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Way to miss the point.
Google: Ugh. Oh boy. Nice one. NOT!
Samsung: Heh, heh. Neato.

2. SNAKE

3 different snake emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Beware!
Google: Beware?
Samsung: Aww. Snakey-poo.

3. NERD FACE

Three different nerd face emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Nerdy cuteness.
Google: Nerdy excitement!
Samsung: Nerdy astonishment!

4. COOKIE

Three different cookie emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Mmm. Delicious chocolate chips…
Google: Raisins? Nuts?
Samsung: Uh, thanks for the cookie?

5. LOUDLY CRYING FACE

Three different loudly crying face emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: River of tears.
Google: Waterfall of tears.
Samsung: Cast adrift on a lake of tears.

6. GHOST

Three different ghost emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Ready for a goofy good scare?!
Google: Me scary! (*wink*)
Samsung: (*clears throat*) Um, boo.

7. COUCH AND LAMP

Three different couch and lamp emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Midcentury modern pad.
Google: Office waiting room.
Samsung: Haunted Victorian hotel.

8. CHIPMUNK

Three different chipmunk emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Cute? No. Please allow me my dignity.
Google: Tee hee. Cute!
Samsung: Where did I put those nuts…

9. OCTOPUS

Three different octopus emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Oh. You surprised me there.
Google: Boo! I surprise YOU!
Samsung: Hellooooooo, over there.

10. CAT FACE

Three different cat emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Always identified more with the mice, actually.
Google: On the internet, everyone loves a cat!
Samsung: Your texts are tedious.

11. PIZZA

Three different pizza emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Pepperoni.
Google: Pepperoni and olives.
Samsung: Pepperoni, olives, and extra cheese.

12. MAN DANCING

Three different man dancing emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung
Apple/Google/Samsung

Apple: Disco in the '70s.
Google: Miami Vice in the '80s.
Samsung: Dabbing, whipping, and nae-naeing at the middle school.

13. OLD MAN

Three different old man emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: More like middle-aged.
Google: Old and yet somehow babyish.
Samsung: Very prematurely grey kid.

14. RUNNING SHOE

Three different running shoe emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Ready for the 5K.
Google: Ready for some stickball.
Samsung: Ready for the playground.

15. DETECTIVE

Three different detective emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Experienced and ready to assist.
Google: No experience yet, but can’t wait to start!
Samsung: Seen too much.

16. PERSON SURFING

Three different person surfing emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Awesome!
Google: Pretty fun.
Samsung: Whoa. Help.

17. FRAMED PICTURE

Three different framed picture emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: For the nursery.
Google: For the den.
Samsung: For the great hall.

18. DROOLING FACE

Three different drooling face emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Sooo delicious…
Google: Sooo incomprehensible…
Samsung: Sooo disturbing…

19. CLAPPING HANDS

Three different clapping emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Pay attention!
Google: Polite applause.
Samsung: Hushed appreciation.

20. T-SHIRT

Three different t-shirt emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Casual Friday at the office.
Google: Saturday at the gym.
Samsung: Sunday on the couch.

21. PERSON FROWNING

Three different person frowning emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Hurt and disappointed.
Google: Crushed and disappointed.
Samsung: Not gonna stand for it anymore.

22. FEARFUL FACE

Three different fearful face emojis from Apple, Google, and Samsung

Apple: Yikes! Aaack! No way!
Google: Oh dear! Why! I feel sick!
Samsung: Bzzzt! Yoinks!

Check the platform differences for all the emojis at Emojipedia.

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Australians Vote to Name New Sydney Harbor Boat 'Ferry McFerryface'
NSW Transport
NSW Transport

Proving that some jokes never die (or at least take a little longer to reach the Land Down Under), Sydney has a new ferry named Ferry McFerryface, according to BBC News.

For the uninitiated, the name Ferry McFerryface pays homage to an English practical joke from 2016. It all started when the UK's Natural Environment Research Council (NERC) made global headlines after launching an online poll to name a nearly $300 million polar research ship. Leading the vote by a significant margin was the moniker “Boaty McBoatface.”

For a short period, it seemed as though jokesters would pull off their naming coup. But once the competition reached its end, government officials ultimately decided to override the poll. They named the research ship RSS Sir David Attenborough instead, although they did agree to give the name Boaty McBoatface to one of its submarines.

Sydney recently held a similar competition to name a fleet of six new harbor ferries, and the results were announced in mid-November. Locals submitted more than 15,000 names, and winning submissions included the names of esteemed Australian doctors, prominent Aboriginal Australians, and—yes—Ferry McFerryface, according to the Associated Press. Boaty McBoatface also came out on top, but it was struck down.

“Given ‘Boaty’ was already taken by another vessel, we’ve gone with the next most popular name nominated by Sydneysiders,” said Andrew Constance, the New South Wales minister for transport and infrastructure, in a statement. “Ferry McFerryface will be the harbor’s newest icon and I hope it brings a smile to the faces of visitors and locals alike.”

[h/t BBC News]

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