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12 Cat-Related Patents That Are Really Quite Bizarre

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To visit Google's patent website is to lose yourself in a black hole of totally weird wannabe inventions—a surprising number of which are for your feline friends. From toys meant to encourage exercise to systems that deliver live birds for food, here are 12 really weird cat patents.

1. "Method of Exercising a Cat"

If you watch My Cat From Hell (and you obviously do), you know that host Jackson Galaxy’s first step in kitty exorcism is almost always increasing exercise—and America’s inventors are on it. Patents for all kinds of strange, exercise-inspired toy patents exist, including number 5443036, “Method of Exercising a Cat.” Kevin T. Amiss and Martin H. Abbott propose a ray or glue gun-looking device that beams a laser onto an opaque surface. Give it to the human, who must move the light “in an irregular way fascinating to cats, and to any other animal with a chase instinct.” (Nothing you can't do with a flashlight.)

2. "Cat Exercise Wheel"

Elmer Paul Venson and Leona June Wilson, on the other hand, take the hamster wheel one step further with patent number D484284, “Cat Exercise Wheel.” Sure, it will get out your cat's excess energy, but expect her to be insulted that you’re asking her to act like a rodent she wants to eat.

3. "Bird Predation Deterrent Shield"

Many cat-related patents aim to keep the creatures from eating birds—and no wonder, since felines take out an estimated 500 million songbirds every year. In patent number 5755186, “Bird predation deterrent shield for a cat,” Susan B. Mandeville suggests a flexible bib that hangs from the cat’s neck nearly down to its feet. According to the patent, “Use of a shield according to the present invention has been shown to drastically reduce the number of birds killed by a cat when worn by the cat while outdoors.” (We can only assume Susan tested this on her own very disgruntled kitty.)

4. “Collar for a Cat for Warning a Bird of the Presence of the Cat"

Similarly, in patent number 5952925, “Collar for a cat for warning a bird of the presence of the cat,” Gordon P. Secker suggests popping a collar equipped with speakers on felines to ruin their stalking skills and warn birds off.

5. "Bird Trap and Cat Feeder"

But Leo O. Voelker doesn’t want to save the birds—or sparrows, anyway. His grisly “Bird Trap and Cat Feeder” is “designed to catch birds the size of a sparrow while releasing smaller song birds, wrens, swallows, or the like. The feeder providing means for continuously supplying a cat or neighborhood cats with sparrows to eat.” The device delivers sparrows into a mesh cage; when the bird sticks its head through the mesh opening, the cat can grab it with its paw and pull it out—bon appétit!

6. "Device for Restraining a Cat"

Cats are fast, and can be easily distracted—hence the patents for restraints that will save your hands from scratches, bites, and potential cases of cat scratch fever. In patent 6394039, “Device for Restraining a Cat,” Shanon O. Grauer imagines the feline equivalent of a straitjacket: There’s a hole for the cat’s head, and one for its tail. It forces the kitty to sit pretty so its human can easily administer medication. “A dog tends to receive medications … without serious complaint,” the patent says. “A cat is, by its very nature, finicky and presents to its owner, a constant challenge to ensure that [it] has received its proper dosage.”

7. "Another Device for Restraining a Cat"

Meanwhile, Ruby Y. Young’s “Cat Restrainer” looks like a horror film-approved torture device. The patent describes it as “a combination of a harness and frame assembly to provide a cat bathing, treating, breeding, transporting, and surgical restraint.” Yikes.

8. “Furniture Device for Cats"

Cats only have their tongues to keep clean, so it’s nice that some inventors have created devices to help with kitty grooming. James Piccone’s “Furniture Device for Cats" is both a house and a fur-removal device: As cats enter and exit through holes in the structure, a “brushing or combing device” affixed to the holes creates an “automatic grooming operation … on the external hair or surface thereof to prevent the shedding of loose hairs on floors and other areas where such shedding is undesirable.”

9. “Device for Collecting Cat Hair”

Jack Randall Kidwell’s “Device for Collecting Cat Hair” is much more likely to strike terror into the hearts of felines – before cats reach their food, they must first journey through an area of suction, which removes “loose particles” and hair.

10. “Vibrating Cat Litter Scoop”

And then, of course, there are patents designed to help humans do their part (if they can’t teach their kitties to use the toilet). Anthony O’Rourke’s “Vibrating Cat Litter Scoop” helps separate cat litter from cat waste by battery-induced vibrations originating from the scoop’s handle. Just don’t accidentally pack this in your suitcase before you go on vacation! (People will wonder what's vibrating in there, and why you brought a litter scoop on your getaway.)

11. “Cat-Shaped Computer Mouse”

These last two proposed gizmos are clearly aimed at the cat lady segment of the population, who would no doubt quickly snatch up patent number D639299, “Cat-Shaped Computer Mouse”...

12. “Acrylic Night Light Cover in the Form of a Cat”

...and patent number D426910, “Acrylic Night Light Cover in the Form of a Cat”.

Erin McCarthy is Deputy Editor of mentalfloss.com.

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Fisherman Catches Rare Blue Lobster, Donates It to Science
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FRED TANNEAU/AFP/Getty Images

Live lobsters caught off the New England coast are typically brown, olive-green, or gray—which is why one New Hampshire fisherman was stunned when he snagged a blue one in mid-July.

As The Independent reports, Greg Ward, from Rye, New Hampshire, discovered the unusual lobster while examining his catch near the New Hampshire-Maine border. Ward initially thought the pale crustacean was an albino lobster, which some experts estimate to be a one-in-100-million discovery. However, a closer inspection revealed that the lobster's hard shell was blue and cream.

"This one was not all the way white and not all the way blue," Ward told The Portsmouth Herald. "I've never seen anything like it."

While not as rare as an albino lobster, blue lobsters are still a famously elusive catch: It's said that the odds of their occurrence are an estimated one in two million, although nobody knows the exact numbers.

Instead of eating the blue lobster, Ward decided to donate it to the Seacoast Science Center in Rye. There, it will be studied and displayed in a lobster tank with other unusually colored critters, including a second blue lobster, a bright orange lobster, and a calico-spotted lobster.

[h/t The Telegraph]

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Master Sgt. Rose Reynolds, U.S. Air Force, Wikimedia Commons // Public Domain
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Weird
How the U-2 Aircraft Made Area 51 Synonymous With UFOs
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Master Sgt. Rose Reynolds, U.S. Air Force, Wikimedia Commons // Public Domain

Area 51 may be the world’s most famous secret military base. Established on an abandoned airfield in the Nevada desert, the facility has fueled the imaginations of conspiracy theorists scanning the skies for UFOs for decades. But the truth about Area 51’s origins, while secretive, isn’t as thrilling as alien autopsies and flying saucers.

According to Business Insider, the U.S. government intended to build a base where they could test a top-secret military aircraft without drawing attention from civilians or spies. That aircraft, the U-2 plane, needed to fly higher than any other manmade object in the skies. That way it could perform recon missions over the USSR without getting shot down.

Even over the desert, the U-2 didn’t go completely undetected during test flights. Pilots who noticed the craft high above them reported it as an “unidentified flying object.” Not wanting to reveal the true nature of the project, Air Force officials gave flimsy explanations for the sightings pointing to either natural phenomena or weather research. UFO believers were right to think the government was covering something up, they were just wrong about the alien part.

You can get the full story in the video below.

[h/t Business Insider]

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